Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The Stache's Top 12 Songs of 2006

Here's a guide to some of the best individual songs that came out last year, neatly organized in list form. I had some witty quips that accompanied each song, but internet explorer shit all over itself and erased everything. Maybe I'll add them again later, oh well. P.S. Go Birds!

12. Mates of State- Think Long:
They are married and they have no guitarist, but once you get past the gimmicks this is an incredible catchy song.

11. Matisyahu- Indestructible: It seems like he has been around forever, but this studio album was released in '06. My favorite song from my favorite Jew.

10. Josh Ritter- Wolves: So long, So high. This song collectively spent the most amount of time in my head last year. Ritter's voice is powerful.

9. Say Anything- Alive with the Glory of Love: The lyrics are extremely dark, but the riffs are uplifting. I love the dichotomy and damn that chorus is catchy.

8. Angles and Airwaves- Valkyrie Missle: I know they are pretty emo, but I can't get enough. In its own overblown way, this song is perfect.

7. The Thermals- Here's Your Future: Not quite punk, not really rock, just two and a half minutes of pure powerful music.

6. Silversun Pickups- Lazy Eye: This song slowly builds up to a raging conclusion. Looking forward to more from this new band.

5. The Hold Steady- Stuck Between Stations: Most nights were crystal clear but tonight it's like we're stuck between stations. Nobody's lyrics came close to Craig Finn this year.

4. TV on the Radio- Wolf Like Me:This rocking song sounds nothing like the rest of their strangely solid album. No complaints here.

3. Midlake- Roscoe: Best imagery of the year comes from these gents. I can't help but feel like I'm sitting in a peaceful forest relaxing and enjoying life while blasting this tune.

2. Josh Ritter- Thin Blue Flame
: A Dylan epic in disguise. I have no idea what the lyrics means, but this amazing song gives me visions of johanna upon every listen.

1. Tool- 10,000 Days (Wings Part 2):
Maynard chronicles the loss of his mother through this stunning tune. The centerpiece of the best album of 2006.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Stache's Top 10 Shows of 2006

Andy's mustache is in the mood to wax nostalgic, and can think of no better way than to bust out some top 10 lists.
I went to about 30 concerts last year and worked at about another 30, so I have a pretty large selection to choose from. I am not including anything I saw at Bonaroo or moe.down, cause that would just start to confuse me even more. Without further ado, here's my list:
10. Sufjan Stevens (Town Hall, NYC, Oct. 1): This was definitely the quietest concert I attented last year, as Sufjan and butterfly-winged orchestra elegantly rocked this intimate venue. Highlights included Chicago and a fabulous new song called Snowbird.
9. moe. (Starland Ballroom, Sayersville, Oct. 20): I saw moe. eight times this year and this show really stood out. I went with a great crew, the venue (basically a bar with a small stage) was awesome and even though Al didn't play they rest of the boys were still on. Timmy Tucker and Meat highlighted a stellar second set and the Can't You Hear Me Knocking encore was a lot of fun.
8. Disco Biscuits/New Deal (Jam on the River Day 1, Great Plaza, Philly, May 27): Can't ask for a much better Memorial Day than listening to some awesome tunes overlooking the Delaware on a gorgeous summer night with great friends. The New Deal really got the crowd going and the Biscuits didn't disappoint. The Run Like Hell>Great Abyss>Caterpillar that closed the set was one of the best jams I heard all year. Bonus points for this being a festival since that meant less biscuit-wookies in the crowd making me want to punch them.
7. moe. (Festival Pier, Philly, June 9): My favorite moe. show of the year, excluding the excellence at moe.down. This parking lot, er, venue sucks but we got right up front enjoyed the amazing half hour Plane Crash to close the second set. Too fucking high! I think I did more dancing during that song than at any other show all year.
6. My Morning Jacket (Electric Factory, Philly, Dec. 1) I might have this slighlty overrated cause it is the most recent, but in the words of Wesley Willis this was a rock and roll joyride. They played every mmj song I wanted to hear (One Big Holiday, Lay Low, The Way That he Sings, Dancefloors, Mageteeh, Run Thru) and put on a great visual show in a packed Factory.
5. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (Irvine Plaza, NYC, Dec 31) I had a very indie New Year's by ringing in 2006 with these guys. My favorite memory of this show is at midnight when a bunch of balloons were supposed to fall but the net suspended above the audience didn't break correctly and nothing happened. This brave soul got up and someone's hands, made an awesome leap, and tore down the net, thus saving 2006 and prompting CYHSY to rip into an awesome jam. Thank you kind sir.
4. Tool (Tower Theater, Upper Darby, May 18): Stood in the front row (directly in front bassist Justin and a huge speaker) for this mind-blowing performance and got slap hands with drummer Danny Carey after the show. Right in Two was the unexpected highlight for me as I really came to appreciate this new song hearing it live. THIS SHOW WAS LOUD. I really couldnt hear for a few days afterwards, but it was worth it.
3. Tool (Tweeter Center, Camden, September 28): I did not stand anywhere near the front row for this one, but overall it was a better show. The setlist was the same, except for the huge addition of Wings/10,000 Days, my favorite Tool song. Also the lasers at the Tweeter indoors were really cool and just about all my friends were there enjoying the show. From the parking lot to the afterparty, this was a great day the whole way through.
2. Radiohead (Tower Theater, Upper Darby, May 2): Seeing Radiohead play this awesome at a venue this small was a once in a lifetime experience. Paranoid Android, The Bends, Everything in its Right Place, Blackstar, Let Down, and Idioteque highlighted an amazing night of Radiohead. The new songs, especially Bodysnatchers, were pretty sick as well.
1. Roger Waters (Tweeter Center, Camden, September 14): Three months have gone by and I still can not adequately describe in words how amazing this experience was. Jumbled fragments are all I can come up with: visually stunning, musically perfect. Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety. The pig. The spaceman. The crazy hand. Shine On, Wish You Were Here, and Set the Controls. Best. show. ever. My expectations were so incredibly high and they were exceeded.
So looking back, 2006 was a real good year for concerts, hopefully 007 will be just as much fun.

24 Inch Pythons

Former Bird Hollis Thomas was suspended for steriods today, allegedly because of a supplement found in his asthma medication. Thomas was one of my favorite Eagles while he played here and I still don't understand why they gave him away to the Saints for nothing before the draft.

Two things I noticed while Thomas was here:

1. He broke Derrick Gunn's balls like no other on Post-game Live.
2. He has the biggest arms of anyone in the world.

Here he is pictured above making 6' 225 lb Keith Adams look like Verne Troyer. Does this mean Thomas willing knowingly took steriods? I have no idea, but he sure is a monster.

Hollis Thomas and his mean face suspended for steriods

High Tide

Another entertaining movie from Ripper Co. productions. The end gets slightly cut off though, so enjoy what you can. More to come soon; I swear.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Another Day in Paradise

My good friend The King, in association with Ripper Production Co. present this short film about killing people. Andy's stache is going to have more from Ripper Productions, hopefully including some of my own work. Check it out.

State of the 'Stache

Anyone who regularly reads andy's mustache (assuming said person actually exists) has noticed a woeful lack of posting on my behalf over the past week. There are two reasons that the stache is slowing down.

First, I hate sports.

Actually, that is not totally true. I still enjoy watching games, following storylines, and analyzing what's going on in the sports world. What I hate is being a Philadelphia sports fan.

Like I explained in my last post, I can barely watch the Eagles anymore. What used to be the highlight of my week is now an incredible chore. The most frustrating part is that it seems like I (and most Philly fans) care more about winning than the actual team does. It also seems like I (and most Philly fans) could put together a better game plan and get the team to play smarter than this coach.

Andy has totally lost the Eagles. They are not a good football team and they have little chance of sneaking into the playoffs. The Birds sucking ass every weekend along with my obsessive, undying love for the team is really taking a toll on my mental health.

Oh and by the way, this has been going on for 23 straight years. I just can't take the losing anymore. It's taking the fun out sports. The Flyers and Sixers are not going to offer any reprieve, as they very likely might lose 100 games combined this winter. That leaves us with the Sads, the losingest franchise in the history of pro sports, as our next hope at winning anything. I guess I should just keep my asshole open until spring then so I can get fucked again then.

Second, I have been working a bit more and don't really feel like scouring the Internet all day for interesting bits of info. So expect the posts to be a bit more music-oriented and more sporadic.

Plus, I want to focus on some more of my own writing. I am going to start posting some of my short stories, sketches, and hopefully some more short films in the space. The next post is a start, enjoy.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Eagles Butcher Game, Probably Season

I don't think I can watch the 2006 Eagles anymore.

I am just not going to survive this season. At this rate I am all but guarenteed a massive heart attack by Week 10.

The Birds pissed away their third winnable loss of the year yesterday, coming up with some new and interesting ways to lose while also showcasing the same flaws that cost them the Saints and Giants game.

The old standbys, clock management and prevent defense, again reared their ugly heads yesterday. At the end of the first half, Andy Reid inexplicably called a play that had LJ Smith catch the ball at the 2-yard line with nine seconds left and the Birds out of timeouts. Then, Donovan McNabb inexplicably threw to Smith, who was easily tackled causing time to run out and leaving David Akers stranded on the sidelines praticing his karate moves.

(Note: This exact same situation, on nearly the exact same play, happened two years ago. I think LJ even caught the pass that time. Way to learn from your mistakes, Andy.)

The Eagles also decided to play their '10-yard cushion prevent defense' on the Bucs final drive, easily allowing Tampa's incompotent passing game to move into range for the miracle field goal that would end the game. The one time the Eagles blitzed, a terrified Bruce Gradkowski tossed an ugly incompletion. Then the Birds rushed three guys the rest of the drive to prevent themselves from winning the game.

Besides those errors, The Eagles busted out some new flaws in order to lose to a truly bad Bucs team. Despite outgaining Tampa 506-196, the Birds turned the ball over four times, spotting Tampa two touchdowns in the process on interception returns. McNabb also had a case of the Super Bowl flu. Apparently, he is unable to play in hot weather without blowing chunks of Mama McNabb's cooking all over the field, even though he trains in the offseason in the warmth of Phoenix.

Here's the bottom line: The Eagles are not a good football team. Good football teams do not find ways to lose. Good football teams do not turn 7-0 starts into 4-3 starts. Good football teams do not take moronic penalties and constantly play sloppy on special teams. Good football teams to not make clock management blunders and waste timeouts every single freaking week.

I am sure Andy is going to come out for the press conference tomorow, clear his throat seven times, says this loss is his responsbility and he need to work on some things, then not answer any questions. I am so sick of his act. He has done absolutely nothing to change the flaws that plague this team. Its the same song and dance on the field, then in the press conference every week. FIX IT ANDY. And fix it fast, cause this ship is sinking.

For Your Live Listening (Dis)pleasure

This week features more big-time concerts in the Philadelphia area than any week in recent memory. Here's a rundown of some of the highlights:
  • Beck (Monday at the Tower)- Puppet Beck and his puppet band alone are worth the price of admission.
  • The Killers (Monday at the Factory)- Anyone taking their sound in a Springsteenesque direction is alright with me.
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers (Monday and Tuesday at Wachovia)- Death, drugs, lineup changes, and copyright infringments be damned; nothing can stop RHCP.
  • Paul Simon (Tuesday at the Tower)- You can call him Al.
  • Amos Lee (Wednesday at the TLA)- Philly's finest singer/songwriter at one of Philly's most fun venues.
  • Insane Clown Posse (Wednesday at the Factory)- ICP was originally a hardcore rap group called Inner City Posse, but after being visited by the 'Carnival Spirit' they transformed into angry clown rappers. OK.
  • Death Cab for Cutie with Ted Leo (Thursday at the Tower)- Death Cab is good, Ted Leo is awesome.
  • Alice in Chains (Thursday at the Factory)- It's time to give it up, or at least change your name.
  • The Rolling Stones (Friday at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City)- The industry's biggest money-making machine rolls into A.C. for the first time.
  • Dresden Dolls (Saturday at the TLA)- German cabret rock at its best.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Borat's Behind the Scenes Magic

The above video shows Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) making a hillarious appearance on Conan O'Brien promoting the new Borat movie.

As a huge fan of Da Ali G Show, I always wondered how Cohen tricked these important people to be interviewed by Ali G or Borat. This interesting article, How I was Duped By Ali G, offers some answers.


The fat, bald man holding a football above may look like your everyday Joe. Don't be fooled. Joe Cahn is a god amongst us mere mortals; a king amongst us peasants.

Joe Cahn is living the American Dream, one bratwurst at a time.

Cahn is the world's first professional tailgaiter, driving around the country in a winnebago to spread his tailgaiting expertise to stadiums across the country. Cahn's sponsors, Stanley Thermos company and the Hearth, Patio & Barbecue Association, help to make tailgaiting his full-time occupation.

In his travels over the past 11 years, Cahn has been to over 400 tailgate parties at all 31 NFL stadiums and 114 college venues. According to his website, Monaco spends his 'offseasons' going to Mardi Gras, concerts, and fishing expeditions.

Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to officially christen Joe Cahn as THE Man. This dude tailgates for a living! He has sponsors, who pay him to tailgate! Let me rephrase that, in bold. They pay him to tailgate! I am completely blown away.

Joe Cahn, you are my hero and a hero to all us lazy, rib-eating, beer-drinking, party-loving Americans everywhere. Thank you Joe for giving us all something to aspire for. Godspeed.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Hold Steady Rock It

If you have ever heard of The Hold Steady, you either love 'em or you hate 'em. I fall into the former category. The Hold Steady can really play some serious rock and/or roll.

Anyway, their new album, Boys and Girls in America, came out a couple weeks ago and Vagrant is streaming the whole work, which is pretty sweet. Enjoy it if you so choose.

The above video shows the band tearing up Brooklyn with the album's opener, Stuck Between Stations. It also shows that their keyboardist has a killer Dali 'stache.

Cause of Death: The Sads

More evidence that rooting for the Sads can actually kill you: a funeral product company is now making coffins featuring MLB logos.

The AP article reminds us that sports is a matter of life and death:

"Many crazed baseball fans have said they would die for a championship. But are they willing to take that devotion to the grave?"

Hey, now! I love my Philly squads as much as any of my cheeseteak-eating bretheren, but I'm not quite sure that I want the everlasting image of my remains to be a Sads logo with a picture of Steve Jeltz emblazoned across my coffin.

Ken Hitchcock is a Bad, Bad Dude

Last night in Buffalo, Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock let what little confidence Robert Esche had left be absolutely ravished by the Sabres. Hitch spitefully kept Esche in net for the entire 9-1 feeding frenzy and our hockey correspondent, Habitual Line Crosser, has figured out why.

HLC dug up this pregame piece from The Deleware News Journal, where Mr. Esche had some choice words for his coach:

Asked Monday about coach Ken Hitchcock's decision to start him against the Sabres, Esche said, "I don't try getting in his head, that's for sure. It's an empty place."

Hitchcock grew red-faced when told of Esche's comment, and could only come back with the reply, "Tit for tat."

I wonder what Esche had to say nine goals later? Damn Hitchcock is evil.

Here's some more on the ass kicking and its aftermath as three Flyers get cut.

Now I'm no hockey guru, but Habitual Line Crosser tells me that when you just suffered one of the worst losses in franchise history, your just cut a line worth of players, and your head coach is going out of his way to spite his someone on his own squad, that's not usually a good thing.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Uncle Charlie's New Pals

The Philadelphia Sads (as they are known around these parts) made some October news yesterday. Obviously it was not from playing, since the Sads have not been on a baseball diamond in October since 1993.

The Sads hired three former big-league managers as their new third base, first base, and bench coaches (Inquirer link). So now the first time Uncle Charlie blows a double-switch he will have not one, but three capable replacements staring directly over his shoulder. Better order him a few more cases of Depends once the season starts.

Also, Randy Miller says the Sads are looking to target Alfonso Soriano or Gary Sheffield, although Soriano is most likely too pricey.

Killer Buds

Canadian soilders fighting in Afghanistan have found themselves in a sticky situation.

Apparently, marijuana is causing a major problem for our friends north of the border. It's not that that the Taliban's dank nugs have gotten the Canucks from too stoned to do anything. Rather, the actual marijuana plants are the problem. Check out the very entertaining CNN story.

The lesson as always: drugs are bad, mkay.

Pete Townshend, Water Aficionado

To start, let's make something clear. Pete Townshend is the man. The Who are one of my top-20 bands ever, they have put out some pantheon-level albums, and they really kick ass live.

But despite being the man, Pete Townshend is a bit quirky. He's British, he rarely leaves his tour bus, and apparently he really likes water and oil. Here's Townshend's interesting response to the question 'How has the Internet impacted the music industry' from his Pitchfork interview which he, um, takes in a different direction to say the least.

"Only slightly. It has not delivered all of its promise. Yes, we can get our music to our audience, but as yet we have not persuaded them to pay the way they do when they come see us play live. Turning something into low resolution data does seem to make it worth less in the modern world. Some girl I know told me that all cars could be run on water, only the man who invented the process was "assassinated" by the petrochemical people. Water is more precious than oil. Both are more precious than music. Music won't heat a house or help a plant to grow."

Amen, Pete. Amen.

Rich Franklin Gets Destroyed

Here's the video for the Rich Franklin-Anderson Silva middleweight title bout from UFC 64. Silva won the belt, pummelling Franklin with vicious knees to the face from the clinch. This video doesn't show it, but after the fight Franklin's broken nose was literally hanging off the side of his face.

Something about Franklin just looked weird in this fight. He looked pale, not as jacked as usual and had this spacey look in his eye. He definitely did not want to be there; almost as if he knew Silva was going to obliterate him. Maybe it was just his injuries or his long layoff or maybe there is more to the story. I guess we'll have to wait for the rematch to find out.