THE Man

The fat, bald man holding a football above may look like your everyday Joe. Don't be fooled. Joe Cahn is a god amongst us mere mortals; a king amongst us peasants.

Joe Cahn is living the American Dream, one bratwurst at a time.

Cahn is the world's first professional tailgaiter, driving around the country in a winnebago to spread his tailgaiting expertise to stadiums across the country. Cahn's sponsors, Stanley Thermos company and the Hearth, Patio & Barbecue Association, help to make tailgaiting his full-time occupation.

In his travels over the past 11 years, Cahn has been to over 400 tailgate parties at all 31 NFL stadiums and 114 college venues. According to his website, Monaco spends his 'offseasons' going to Mardi Gras, concerts, and fishing expeditions.

Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to officially christen Joe Cahn as THE Man. This dude tailgates for a living! He has sponsors, who pay him to tailgate! Let me rephrase that, in bold. They pay him to tailgate! I am completely blown away.

Joe Cahn, you are my hero and a hero to all us lazy, rib-eating, beer-drinking, party-loving Americans everywhere. Thank you Joe for giving us all something to aspire for. Godspeed.